How to stay Sexually Stimulated during Lockdown
Due to the Corona virus threat our world is currently experiencing unprecedented changes. Numerous regions are practicing social distancing and a large number of areas are on a complete lock down. Beyond the health and economic impacts of this, it greatly impacts our ability to meet new sexual and romantic partners. What are some techniques we can use during this time to keep our sex lives exciting and interesting?
Really ease into the foreplay. Especially when we are just looking for a hookup, we often fly through the pre-hook up phase and don’t spend the time to let the tension build as we get to know more about a person. Sometimes the pre-hookup phase can be as short as, “You’re really sexy, how big is your penis? Have you been tested lately? Would you like to fuck tonight?” We have now been giving the gift of time, so spend some time learning about your potential partners online. What are their fantasies? What do you want to do first when you finally meet in person? How aroused are you thinking about finally meeting this person? For me, half of the fun of a hookup is the build up. Really enjoy letting the tension build, and you can learn more about your sexual compatibility before meeting in the flesh.
Expand your self-love repertoire. We often get into sexual routines, where we learn how to get ourselves off the easiest and fastest way, and follow the same structure each time. Instead, play around with new sensations. Don’t make orgasm the goal. I was recently in Montreal and although there is a city wide shut down where schools, museums and clothing stores are closed, sex shops are still open and are doing home delivery. For some a new toy can help explore new sensations. For my whole life, I rubbed my clitoris to get myself off. It wasn’t until I was at a cabin and bored last year that I played around and found that my orgasms were stronger and more intense if I put a finger inside myself while I stimulated my clitoris. There are so many erogenous zones, that need the time to be explored. Create a sexual environment for yourself, put on a timer and play with yourself for a couple of hours straight.
Spend the time online here exploring and improving your profile. Talk to new people. Read through past blogs and learn about sexually. Finally message that sexy person you’ve been checking out for a while. Take the time to take some sexy photos and update your profile. Open your mind to speaking to folks with kinks that you haven’t explored yet.
Think about what turns you on. We are very influenced by our partners, by pornography and by the media regarding what we are meant to find sexy. Often times, we haven’t put in the time to really think about what turns us on. As we have been given the gift of time, think about five to ten scenarios that you find truly arousing. Think about what about them turns you on, and if there could be a way post apocalypse, to make your fantasy a reality. If you know of a partner you would like to get involved, tell them about it. Not all of these have to involve group sex, or some crazy fetish, for many it can involve more eye contact during sex or more sex with your partner. If you are not prioritizing your sex life, what changes can you make to make your sex life as important as it deserves to be. Also, what’s on your mind while you are having sex? Are you thinking about what to make for dinner? Are you thinking about the way your body looks? Are you worrying that you will be unable to cum? If there is something that often impacts your ability to enjoy sex, take the time to analyze why you are having these distracting thoughts and if there is anything you or a partner could do to get you out of your head.
If you are hunkering down with a partner, use this time to experiment. Make a rule that you can only try positions that you have never tried before. If you don’t usually talk when getting down, try dirty talk or role play. Get a new toy. Discuss your fantasies with each other. Play with power. Just like with self-love, with partners it is so easy to fall into a routine, and that makes sex become repetitive and boring. Push yourself to open up to your partner and tell them what you really want.
Isolation doesn’t have to be sexually boring. Use this time to explore and expand your sexuality. Learn how to articulate what you want. Masturbate in new and exciting ways and explore different erogenous zones. Learn how to have more novel and exciting sex with your partner. Learn how to extend for-play and become more aroused by partners online before meeting in the flesh. What is happening in the world is scary, but it is also an opportunity to spend more time getting to know ourselves.